LOVE and our UNDERSTANDING

In many ways, people think differently about the meaning of love. Love can be a good and long-time feeling among one and others or vice versa. We have some different ideas when we go to this point because love can also occur between two persons who have different sexual organism – i.e. between male and female. Most of people who hear the word LOVE always think to this only one way. If so, what can go wrong with our understanding?

Let me focus on the heterosexual love – i.e. love between men and women. Of course, I can share some of my personal experience to you. People are becoming discrete from what they have in first stage of their life from the day that they can find someone who they love the most. I used to be in that stage and I found that something was completely unique and unexplainable.

“Kind and generous person begins to be a little stingy, easy-going comes to be rush and bad-tempered, and tiny grows to be a little messy and unorganized.” What are these things all about? I do not even understand myself as well when I start to be in love with my girlfriend. You know, I tried to spend a lot of time to look at her activities, her way of speaking, reading and listening. I could even notice that how many times she was waving her head up and down, left and right during the class hours. I grew to be more and more stingy and jealousy because I never wanted any other men to come closely and talk with her at all. But my feeling could not express into the real action because I was just thinking alone. I knew that I did not have the right to tell her about it yet.

Everything she wanted me to do, I always tried all of my best to complete it and I did not even care about my own job because I did always put her on the top of my head. Nothing can change my laziness, I thought at that time. But she could! She could tell me to meet her at any times she wanted. I could do everything for her even it was in the rush hour that I had to complete my final exam.

I did not want to clean up my house because I needed to spare some of my free time to be with her and talked with her. I could not prepare my lessons at school well because I had to do other things for my love. That was everything I could do in order to make her say to me one phrase “I LOVE YOU.”

At last, I got her full phrase. I was very happy and excited because my effort had paid to me the most valuable thing that I wanted to have. However, when I got back to look at my past, I found out that I had missed a lot. Because the pursuit of my love could be successful until that day did not seem to be well-prepared. I felt into the wrong understanding about the meaning of this word and that is the only I wrote this text.

Firstly, I had destroyed my real habit. I could not do as what I had done for my girl friend all the time. She wanted me to arrive to her whenever she wanted. It was not possible! In the future, I must have a job, so I must respect my working time. I will not come to meet at anytime she wants like before! If so, I can make her unhappy almost every time when she wants me to see her. It may also reduce her feeling of love to me.

Secondly, I was cheating myself. When I did like that to her, I was trying to tell her that I was the only man who could do everything for her. If one day, there was an accident to me, how could her survive without me? If one day, there was someone who was better than me came to take her from me, so how could I accept that? One difficult answer have to reply and I still cannot find it out yet. Until today, I met one of my girlfriend’s colleagues and I was totally surprised because he looked really handsome and even better than me. I found myself unsteady because I do believe that there is NOT only me or one person can control and give her a better life but he can also do so instead of me. So, all I must do next, is to make her see me in another separated way rather than just seeing how good I was like before.

In conclusion, our understanding on the word – LOVE is still bounded. We must learn step-by-step in accordance with our real social experience and observation. In my case above, it is just a sign for telling you that before deciding to do something for your love, please think of something positive and eternal.

By Sochheka
To my only girlfriend and all of my friends

Expectation (Part II): Happiness

People say they want to be happy in their lives. I say ‘me too,’ I also want happiness in my life. Why’s that? Simple answer: if we don’t want to be happy, so what do we want? We want to die or cry every day? Naturally, lives can not change. We live with both happiness and sadness. It is a constraint with incontestable variables. No need to expect happiness, if you have never faced sadness. Once again, we expect to be happy for all along the way of our lives. Can we get that?

Every day, I told myself and some of people who know me that unless you sit on the normal chair; you will never ever know how comfortable the sofa is. In this world, if there is no sadness without happiness and there is also no happiness without sadness. When I was bored with my job, I also expect to do something to be more exciting afterward, for example going to have the Chinese noodle with my friend or going to see my girl friend. During the time when I was sad about my job, I can find happiness afterward. Let’s see! Do you know who pay for my happiness? My job pays for my happiness. So, it means my sadness pays for my happiness.

We have talked a lot about the happiness. However, we have not known it meaning yet. In this context, ‘happiness’ came from the word ‘happy,’ which refers to the feeling or showing pleasure, contentment, or joy. We feel ease after we have done something, it means we are happy with what we have done. Happiness can be much larger than that in accordance with the different terms of references. To the family, happiness can be the feeling of husband and wife while they are able to live with each other from the beginning until the end of life. To friend, happiness can get from having a good friend. To us, happiness is every good thing you have such as family, friends, love, and that sort of things. Therefore, if we try to break down the happiness of a person, there must be the integration of family-happiness, friend-happiness, love-happiness, self-happiness, and so forth.

The only great expectation of every body in their entire lives is happiness. We were born, we study, we work, we get married, we raise our children, and we die because of this only thing: happiness. During this Christmas, I really suggest all of you to watch one movie, named ‘Home Alone 3: Lost in New York.’ You will be able to find out the real meaning of this word. In the movie, there was a lady (I forgot her name) who looked so sad every day because there was a man who broke her promise not to come to marry her. She lost her mind after 20 years of waiting. At last, she decided not to believe any bodies else in the rest of her life. She hided herself with pigeons and she kept them as her friends. Kevin was a clever boy. He was getting lost in New York alone because of the missing fly in Paris. When he first met a woman, he was yelling and screaming of fear at her. At the moment after, he was rethinking and decided to have a chat with her. She told Kevin the story and Kevin turned to feel so sorry about her and he also hoped that one day he would be one person that she could trust. How could he make her believe in what he had said?

During the Christmas Eve, Kevin had gone into a shop that sold a lot of things for Christmas. In the shop, there had also a box of collecting money for charity. Kevin had spent some money for that and he had been offered two turtledoves. These two turtledoves were the representation of long-lasting love, belief, and trust. At the end of the movie Kevin gave one of his turtle doves to that lady to show his mind of trust, belief, and love forever. Why don’t you find the couple of turtledoves to give to someone, you love for their great expectation of happiness during this Christmas? Merry Christmas to all of you na!
By Sochheka Ong
Date: 24-Dec-07

Expectation (Part I): Study, Work, and Learn

“Right now, I expect that I will be able to pursuit my Master’s Degree abroad.” This phrase is just one of my anticipations. And I do believe that you must have your own expectation as well. What does ‘expectation’ means in this context? If you go into the Microsoft Encarta Dictionaries [DVD] 2008, you will find one definition of this word: expectation is a confident belief or strong hope that a particular event will happen. Sometimes, what we do strongly believe that it will happen can be changed and we can not even get a half of it. Let’s take one step back and think! Why can not we get what we expect? Of course, the limitation of time is the only one best answer to this question. In this world, if there is no time, age, and the boundary of our lives, we will get all of our expectation and if so, we may not create this word too. Every day, the loop of this natural wheel ties our neck and tells us that you must do this and do that to fulfill our passions and desires.

“I expect to study my degree’s abroad; you expect to learn from your working experience and we expect to work in our own companies.” There are three words in this phrase that I have decided to underline. You know why? Because I do believe that every body must need these three words to construct their happy lives. In short, I say to myself that “in my life, I expect to study, to work and to learn.” That’s it! Do you believe me?

Before believing me, I would like you to answer to my question first: do you know what the difference between ‘study’ and ‘learn’ is? If you do, it will be very easy to answer to this question. ‘To learn’ means to acquire knowledge of a subject or skill through education or experience. The strict meaning of this word is ‘to study’. It means to learn about a subject by reading or researching or to take a course at college or university. If I say I go to study English, it may probably mean that I go to a learning center with the other students and a teacher. However, if I feel to learn English today, I can learn at home individually, or discussing with my classroom as a group. Probably, I may go to library or the study hall in order to read the book. So, learning can be more general to say than studying. Studying is officially recognized as a process of learning in school or in class with a particular teacher and the other students. By the way, the word ‘work’ is completely different from the word ‘study’ and ‘learn’. ‘To work’ means to have a paid job. If I work for a company named First Cambodia Co., Ltd, this company has to pay me regularly for my performing tasks.

OK, now let’s see that in order to have money, we have to work; in order to obtain knowledge, we have to study; and in order to …, we have to learn. What is your purpose of learning? Can anyone answer me and fill in the gap above? Oh, how come? I also do not know the purpose of learning. Alright, think together now! Learning is about something that we can get all the time, no matter what, where, when, and how we do in our daily activities. We tend to learn new things in every second we hold, so we have no purpose of learning. We learn and we learn and we learn. How can we know our learning purposes?

In brief, we say we study for our basic academic life; we work for our lasting long professional career; and we learn for our never end personal and professional life. That’s a wish for all of my dearest friends in this year of Christmas. I hope you will find out these three words: ‘study’, ‘work’, and ‘learn’ in every second you hold in your life. Boom! (To be continued)

By Sochheka Ong
Date: 07-Dec-07

Protocol

Have you ever heard of “Protocol”? I hope you have. What is protocol? In accordance with the Oxford Advanced Genie Dictionary, protocol is a system of fixed rules or conventions and formal behavior used at official meetings or ceremonial occasions, usually between governments. Now, let’s take a look at a family, shall a family occupy a protocol or not? Honestly speaking, family is an informal entity which shares a very strong relationship with the each member inside. Since protocol is used in a formal purpose, so we don’t have to implement in the family. OK, it is logically correct.

Then, I asked myself: “How can I continue to finish my fifth small text?” Everything is true as I open my first paragraph above. There is no argumentation inside my text, so how can everybody spend time to read my text anymore? I walked away from my laptop and thought for a while. I claimed out “No, it isn’t gonna happen like that. However, protocol is also practical in the family.” I sat back and continued with my real text below.

Building a good and happy family is the responsibility of the family managers. Parents are playing an indispensable role to make it up and take care of it. Parents have never wanted their child to be a gangster or a burglar. They want to see their children, are able to get into society and have a good job. How can parents build such a great family? Enacting the family protocol is the only good reason. As we have seen above, protocol need to be used at the official meetings or ceremonial occasions. It means that in all of these places, we are going to use it officially and correctly, so why we don’t study this protocol since we were born in our family. From this reason, I suggest “PROTOCOL” to be officially used in the informal family. WHY? There are so many reasons.

First of all, if we use the protocol in our family, we will feel familiar with it. So, it takes us very easy to use it in formal manner. OK, let me tell you this. When I was a child, I lived with my grand mother who is now living in Australia. She taught me how to eat with respect in front of the older people. She told me that I had to wait for the first oldest person in the group ate first before I started. It is an action to show that you are the knowledgeable person and know who is who. Moreover, she also told me how to eat the fresh vegetable without making the sound of crackling while we are breaking it down inside our mouth. Until my age, I still remembered this protocol and I also used it while my boss and CEO invited me to each something outside with a very formal purpose.

Secondly, protocol in family can help us not to feel of fear while we are invited to join the formal meeting with the high rank people. If you are inside the Intercontinental Hotel of Cambodia during the lunch time, there are so many people who are entitled as His Excellency or even Prime Minister. What will you do? Close your eyes and imagine of the time when you are having lunch with them. What will you do? You may say “I eat with a lot of spoons and folks. The convention is I have to take each of them from outside-in.” It means that the spoons or the folks that are far away from you, you have to use first in accordance with the different foods on the table. Yes, then you can do it properly and perfectly without scaring.

Finally, family protocol can also make us to be an organized person. Since you are learned to follow the proper rules in our family, we are also able to create a very specific duration on what we are doing or going to do. Remember one thing that “Tight rules, tight mind.” Please don’t do like that, just make some example of protocol in some specific behaviors not all. Hey, let’s a good and flexible rules of life. Enjoy your day and every day enjoys your life!

By Sochheka Ong
15-Sep-2007

Time

When we talk about “Time,” we will immediately think of some slogans like “Time is Money”; “Time is the only thief who steals our lives legally” and so forth. We are right! Time can generate two main results: negative or positive. In effect, the only thing that we must remember is “Time is also able to generate our results.” How could it be? Can you find out the answer to such easiest question?

Let me give you one example about my life when I was a child. Since I was born, I have been considered as a poor child. I did not even have the money in my pocket, when I went to school. Money at that time was the most important thing in my life. When I obtained the first grade in class, my family always gave me some money as a gift. I kept all of my money in one wallet where I put it in a very secret place. One day, when I counted my money, I found that it was reached to 100 USD. So, I automatically asked my dad for an exchange because I really wanted to see 100 USD note. I was so happy with this amount of money. Almost everyday before I went to bed and after I got up, I always went to see my money. One day, I felt really unusual; I wanted to see my money in the afternoon. I did not know why, but when I reached my wallet and I found nothing in it. I almost fell on the ground. I did not have any ideas about it. Where should I have found it? I sought out every where in my house and still I found nothing. I was really afraid of my parents knew about this. I decided not to tell them. At last, the time came. When I was hurry to put my money into the wallet, I did not pay attention. It fell down into the bottom of my wardrobe. Accidentally, I did not realize about it.

Time could generate a good result for me. However, if I told my parents immediately at that time, I was surely blamed. There were two result of TIME: ‘if I waited, I won and if I told, I failed.’ Now, I hope all of you do understand clearly about how time can generate something. By the way, I also want to tell you about the other meaning of this word. Again, when I was young, I sat down on the floor and did my homework on a very small chair. I felt of having my own house, becoming a very popular person and traveling abroad. I really wanted time to move faster, because I want to see who exactly I am in the future. Now, I am a man who can live on my own. I feel of something different. I see that the time is moving faster and faster. One day is a blink. Sometimes, it makes me afraid of myself and sit back to relax before I start to do something. Of course, I want to see the result of my PMP (Project Management Professional) Certification and scholarship, but my expectation is limit. What I have waited to see is what I have thought of renewing.

Time can take us to a very near future, but it can also grab our hands to the deadlock. Although, could you tell me that we can live without time or not? Our response must be NO. We can not live without it but we do not want it to move forward. Do you think like what I thought? You see, “I thought” was in the past and “you think” is at the present time. The time has also passed while you are reading this small text.

Paradoxically, time is the only thing that we want to know and see every day, but it was also the thing that we do not want to see and know. From time to time, people can always have options in their lives. First, they decide to move forward quickly and directly and second, they decide to stop and wait to see what is going to happen next like what I have raised as an example in my case. Wish all of you have a good luck and great days during the Pchum Ben Festival. Oh, I forgot. Please say it quietly because Pchum Ben’s day is not coming yet. So, do not let TIME knows about it. Just kidding, please enjoy your day!

“Don’t wait for TIME, Do best to make TIME wait for us”

Big thanks to Mr. Traing Lay
By Sochheka Ong
05-Sep-2007