LOVE and our UNDERSTANDING

In many ways, people think differently about the meaning of love. Love can be a good and long-time feeling among one and others or vice versa. We have some different ideas when we go to this point because love can also occur between two persons who have different sexual organism – i.e. between male and female. Most of people who hear the word LOVE always think to this only one way. If so, what can go wrong with our understanding?

Let me focus on the heterosexual love – i.e. love between men and women. Of course, I can share some of my personal experience to you. People are becoming discrete from what they have in first stage of their life from the day that they can find someone who they love the most. I used to be in that stage and I found that something was completely unique and unexplainable.

“Kind and generous person begins to be a little stingy, easy-going comes to be rush and bad-tempered, and tiny grows to be a little messy and unorganized.” What are these things all about? I do not even understand myself as well when I start to be in love with my girlfriend. You know, I tried to spend a lot of time to look at her activities, her way of speaking, reading and listening. I could even notice that how many times she was waving her head up and down, left and right during the class hours. I grew to be more and more stingy and jealousy because I never wanted any other men to come closely and talk with her at all. But my feeling could not express into the real action because I was just thinking alone. I knew that I did not have the right to tell her about it yet.

Everything she wanted me to do, I always tried all of my best to complete it and I did not even care about my own job because I did always put her on the top of my head. Nothing can change my laziness, I thought at that time. But she could! She could tell me to meet her at any times she wanted. I could do everything for her even it was in the rush hour that I had to complete my final exam.

I did not want to clean up my house because I needed to spare some of my free time to be with her and talked with her. I could not prepare my lessons at school well because I had to do other things for my love. That was everything I could do in order to make her say to me one phrase “I LOVE YOU.”

At last, I got her full phrase. I was very happy and excited because my effort had paid to me the most valuable thing that I wanted to have. However, when I got back to look at my past, I found out that I had missed a lot. Because the pursuit of my love could be successful until that day did not seem to be well-prepared. I felt into the wrong understanding about the meaning of this word and that is the only I wrote this text.

Firstly, I had destroyed my real habit. I could not do as what I had done for my girl friend all the time. She wanted me to arrive to her whenever she wanted. It was not possible! In the future, I must have a job, so I must respect my working time. I will not come to meet at anytime she wants like before! If so, I can make her unhappy almost every time when she wants me to see her. It may also reduce her feeling of love to me.

Secondly, I was cheating myself. When I did like that to her, I was trying to tell her that I was the only man who could do everything for her. If one day, there was an accident to me, how could her survive without me? If one day, there was someone who was better than me came to take her from me, so how could I accept that? One difficult answer have to reply and I still cannot find it out yet. Until today, I met one of my girlfriend’s colleagues and I was totally surprised because he looked really handsome and even better than me. I found myself unsteady because I do believe that there is NOT only me or one person can control and give her a better life but he can also do so instead of me. So, all I must do next, is to make her see me in another separated way rather than just seeing how good I was like before.

In conclusion, our understanding on the word – LOVE is still bounded. We must learn step-by-step in accordance with our real social experience and observation. In my case above, it is just a sign for telling you that before deciding to do something for your love, please think of something positive and eternal.

By Sochheka
To my only girlfriend and all of my friends